What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she told me i tasted like america
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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