OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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