Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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