I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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