I must be too annoying 4 u.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
