Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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