Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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