Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
