i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
