Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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