Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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