ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
