Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize