You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
