She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
