i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
