420 ftw
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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