after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
