I wanna bring you to show and tell
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
