the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
