she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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