ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Houston, we have a squirter
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
