This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
