Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
