This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize