Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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