Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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