I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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