im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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