his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
