my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
