Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
