Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My life is pants optional.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
