someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
