I showed him my bush... on skype.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
