the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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