i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
