Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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