That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
