I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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