His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We got so high we made milksteak
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
