at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
false alarm. still invincible.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
