sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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