This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
