I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
