I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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