He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
