Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
