everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
