You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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