I CAN MOONWALK!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize