I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize