I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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