Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
