Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
