whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
