Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is not my ceiling
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
