Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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