So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize