Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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