Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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