Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need a beard to bite.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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