Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
